There are more and more films these days that explore the experience of Desis raised in the West, and how they have to navigate two worlds, the world of home culture, and the world they live in on a daily basis, each one with potentially different values. How the individual learns to integrate the two sides of their personality, the two sets of values, is often a common theme.
But director Menhaj Huda’s Almost Home is the first time I’ve seen a film trying to present the experience of a South Asian character dealing with PTSD after serving and being decorated as a Marine in the US military. We know these people exist: people of all ethnicities, of all genders, who feel the military as their calling. We’re probably even more aware of it right now in a world where, for example, the current US government is set on purging those people, on erasing their experiences and accomplishments .
Aamir (Kamal Khan, who also wrote the film) is haunted by one particular experience he had as a soldier in Afghanistan. It disrupts his sleep with nightmares, causing him to virtually sleepwalk through his days, barely able to register what his own children are saying to him. His wife, Ida (Erica Ibsen), tries to help, by making him lists and watching over him, but Aamir continues to struggle to make it through each day.
Ida reaches the end of her tether when Aamir forgets to pick up their daughter from school. His son sets off a confetti bomb when they celebrate a friend’s birthday and it gives him flashbacks. Ida pushes him to go to Veterans’ Affairs and see a therapist, even though Aamir insists all he needs is time. Ida sees this as a kind of dereliction of familial duty, if you will, telling him, “I wish you’d just fight for us like you fight for this country.” It’s only during a conversation with his friend Malem (Bernard White) that Aamir begins to change his mind about seeking therapy. Aamir wonders how Malem, a Gulf War veteran, managed. Malem shares that his anger caused him to lose his family, something he doesn’t want to see happen to Aamir.
On some levels, Almost Home tries to shoehorn a little too much into its twenty-minute runtime, mainly because the film is trying to explore some incredibly complex ideas. Racism. Issues around religion and hate. PTSD. What it means to be a Muslim American solider fighting in a Muslim country, opposite Muslims. And what all this does to someone’s sense of identity. Aamir reveals that in Afghanistan, he felt he was in the wrong place, but in returning to the US, he feels like he doesn’t belong. Soldiers like Aamir and Malem have had experiences they feel they need to hide, secrets that fester and destroy their sense of self and their well-being, as well as having them risk losing the things that matter most to them. Only when Aamir is willing to talk about the experience that’s haunting him is he able to begin the long journey towards healing, towards reconciling the parts of him that feel at home neither here nor there.
Almost Home has shortcomings, then, but at its core are ideas that need to be explored, especially in our increasingly fractured and militarized society. The note at the end of the film, that “Muslim Americans have served in the US Military in every war since 1881” is an important reminder that immigrants support so many things in the countries they make home, and also an important reminder that the realities of America’s South Asian communities are often more complex experiences, and that their members fully embrace all that the country has to offer, and has to ask of them.